2012年6月25日

My itinery (Aug 23 - Sep 01)

Days 1-4 (Osaka 大阪)
  • Days 1-3: Touring in Osaka or perhaps regions nearby, with Bik Bik & Koi Koi~~
  • Day 4: Leave for Matsue
Days 4-9 (Matsue 松江)
  • Day 4: Arrive hotel at night
  • Day 5: What to do? Hotspring? But of course, rehearsal!!!
  • Days 6-9: Conference
  • Day 9: Leave for Osaka at night
Days 9-10 (Osaka 大阪)
  • Days 9-10 Hae-ing
  • Day 10: Return home (4:25 pm depart; 19:30 pm arrive)

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十日九夜!好誇張!

But perhaps.. it is better to stay in Matsue for Day 9? Got to think about this.

柳宗元《始得西山宴遊記》

自余為僇人,居是州,恆惴慄。其隙也,則施施而行,漫漫而遊。日與其徒上高山,入深林,窮迴谿。幽泉怪石,無遠不到;到則披草而坐,傾壼而醉;醉則更相枕以臥,意有所極,夢亦同趣;覺而起,起而歸。以為凡是州之山有異態者,皆我有也,而未始知西山之怪特。
今年九月二十八日,因坐法華西亭,望西山,始指異之。遂命僕人過湘江,緣染溪,斫榛莽,焚茅茷,窮山之高而止。攀援而登,箕踞而遨,則凡數州之土壤,皆 在衽席之下。其高下之勢,岈然洼然,若垤若穴;尺寸千里,攢蹙累積,莫得遯隱;縈青繚白,外與天際,四望如一。然後知是山之特立,不與培塿為類。悠悠乎與 灝氣俱,而莫得其涯!洋洋乎與造物者遊,而不知其所窮!引觴滿酌,頹然就醉,不知日之入,蒼然暮色,自遠而至,至無所見,而猶不欲歸。心凝形釋,與萬化冥 合。然後知吾嚮之未始遊,遊於是乎始,故為之文以志。是歲,元和四年也。

=====

I wish I can reach this stage some day~~

Two days with zero research

It has been a while I haven't done any research for this "long". During my MPhil days, I would keep asking myself, why do research when it can help nobody? BCI research is different. It is not just a science problem. It is a science problem with engineering values -- which is perhaps why I like the topic so much.

=====

While I was wandering along the Shing Mun Canal tonight, I suddenly realize what is still important for me. This shouldn't be this important at this stage of my life, but I can't help it. I still want to overcome my own struggles in the past. It is this struggle that has given me a sense of meaning, that almost defines me the past few years. This struggle is still dragging me behind, however. For example, in the interview, I have nothing to show off. I have no experience to show off. Kind of problematic in this superficial world.

Part of the struggles has to do with my father NOT introducing me about the world appropriately. I really have zero knowledge about the world, even the city that I've lived in for about 30 years already.

With that being said, one of my goals in life remains this one -- I'll try to get a better understanding of the world, while re-inventing myself in the process.  To travel more is obviously one of the better ways. I hope I can do it more... starting with HK!!

Would you like to do it with me?????

=====

By the way, we didn't work out that well so far. One of the reasons is that.. I cannot play my roles with ease. I know, as a girl, you have rights to expect your boyfriend to plan a lot of stuff when hanging out. Not me. Please. Not me. I don't know anything about anything, when it comes to hanging out. I hope it doesn't have to be one leading the other. But WE doing things together...

2012年6月24日

Psytopic Results


Psytopic分析:您的性格類型是“INFJ”(內向+直覺+情感+判斷)

尋求思想、關係、物質等之間的意義和聯繫。希望瞭解什麽能够激勵人,對人有很强的洞察力。有責任心,堅持自己的價值觀。對于怎樣更好的服務大衆有清晰的遠景。在對于目標的實現過程中有計劃而且果斷堅定。

INFJ型的人生活在思想的世界裏。他們是獨立的、有獨創性的思想家,具有强烈的感情、堅定的原則和正直的人性。即使面對懷疑,INFJ型的人仍相信自己的看法與决定。他們對自己的評價高于其他的一切,包括流行觀點 和存在的權威,這種內在的觀念激發著他們的積極性。通常INFJ型的人具有本能的洞察力,能够看到事物更深層的含義。即使他人無法分享他們的熱情,但靈感對于他們重要而令人信服。 INFJ型的人忠誠、堅定、富有理想 。他們珍視正直,十分堅定以至達到倔强的地步。因爲他們的說服能力,以及對于什麽對公共利益最有利有清楚的看法,所以 INFJ型的人會成爲偉大的領導者。由于他們的貢獻,他們通常會受到尊重或敬佩。因爲珍視友誼 和和睦,INFJ型的人喜歡說服別人,使之相信他們的觀點是正確的。通過運用嘉許和贊揚,而不是爭吵和威脅,他們贏得了他人的合作。他們願意毫無保留地激勵同伴,避免爭吵。通常INFJ型的人是深思熟慮的决策者,他們覺得問題使人興奮,在行動之前他們通常要仔細地考慮。他們喜歡每次全神貫注于一件事情,這會造成一段時期的專心致志。滿懷熱情與同情心,INFJ型的人强烈地渴望爲他人的幸福做貢獻。他們注意其他人的情感和利 益,能够很好地處理複雜的人。INFJ型的人本身具有深厚複雜的性格,既敏感又熱切。他們內向,很難被人瞭解,但是願意同自己信任的人分享內在的自我。他們往往有一個交往深厚、持久的小規模的朋友圈,在合適的氛 圍中能産生充分的個人熱情和激情。

您適合的領域有:咨詢、教育、科研等領域 文化、藝術、設計等

您適合的職業有:

· 特殊教育教師
· 建築設計師
· 培訓經理/培訓師
· 職業指導顧問
· 心理咨詢師
· 網站編輯
· 作家
· 仲裁人
· 人力資源經理
· 事業發展顧問
· 營銷人員
· 企業組織發展顧問
· 職位分析人員
· 媒體特約規劃師
· 編輯/藝術指導(雜志)
· 口譯人員
· 社會科學工作者
· 心理診療師
· 大學教師(人文學科、藝術類)
· 心理學、教育學、社會學、哲學及其它領域的研究人員
· 作家
· 詩人
· 劇作家
· 電影編劇
· 電影導演
· 畫家
· 雕塑家
· 音樂家
· 藝術顧問
· 設計師

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我要去搞特殊教育!

2012年6月6日

Take a brief rest, and fight again tomorrow!

The past two days have been pretty rewarding. Need to keep up with the literature search!!

I'm actually very happy to have a chance to help write the proposal!  Hope the ellipse can fit into the hole. If the hole is big enough, why not?

Another mild surprise, Prof. Blu continued to give me an A even though I've achieved next to nothing the past few months.. Time to repay him as well~ but I'm really tired like hell now..

=====

I only want to say... I miss you more than ever... but... I really think we shouldn't rush our decision again... I'm happy to know that you have resumed yoga~~~ add oil with the paper as well!!!

=====

Time to sleep.

2012年6月4日

Two quick things

1. The T-shirts look too cute for me :)  Would be quite odd wearing them to school.
2. Come up with a potential thesis title on the way home: "A phonological model of electroencephalographic responses to speech for auditory BCI applications". If anything, I think I've got to do a keyword search with "phonological model" "EEG responses" "speech perception" now!

2012年5月28日

Script for tomorrow

Self-introduction

I'm a PhD student in the Double E department. I have multiple reasons to apply for this residence tutorship, but in the interest of time, perhaps let me just share two of them with you.

My first reason is that, university has virtually been my home for the past 10 years or so, so it is only natural that I have the want to start contributing to this community that I can relate to. You know, just from a sense of responsibility.

Second, as a postgraduate student, I'm not here just to do research, but I'm also hoping to continue my own personal growth, in particular, to improve my communication and leadership skills. I believe that being a residence tutor can enable me to do so, by providing an opportunity for me to meet, to interact with and to learn from people from different background. I treasure the opportunity, and I look forward to the challenge.

廣東話版:
我係電子工程系 ge 博士生。我今次 apply 做 hall tutor,原因有幾個,不過,時間關係,或者等我淨係講最重要嗰兩個原因啦~

首先,過去嗰十年,我大部分時間都嚮大學度讀書同做研究,之前喺科大啦,而家就過左黎中大。大學就好似自己 ge 屋企咁。可能係責任問題啦,我覺得自己都係時候去開始嘗試去為哩個群體,做返啲野,盡一分力。

第二就係,作為一個研究生,我覺得我希望 ge 唔係淨係去做研究,我同時都好希望自己可以繼續去發展自己 ge 其他方面,尤其係嚮溝通技巧同領導才能方面。做 Hall tutor ge 話,我相信會接觸好多唔同類型、唔同學術背景 ge 同學、師長。自私啲講句啦,我覺得對自己 ge 個人發展非常有幫助。哩個都係我今次 apply ge 其中一個主要原因。


What do you think are the most important roles of college education?

I believe that college education serves two main purposes. The first is to provide students a chance to meet people from various academic disciplines, so that they may learn from one another. The second is to help them discover or develop their own talents beyond their major.

But the higher and the ultimate goal, of course, is to help them understand what are important in life through various activities. In other words, to help them discover their own purposes, so that by the time they graduate, they will not only be able to make sound decisions for themselves, but will also have the heart to help improve the society as a whole.




What do you think should be the focus of our college now?


As I understand on the College Webpage, although the SH Ho college is still rather new, having been here for only 2 years, the college has already established quite a broad range of student activities, both college-organized and student-initiated. My guess is that what is the most important now is to encourage the active participation from students, to make sure that everyone is aware of the available resources, AND has the courage to try using them, so that they can really be benefitted.



What are your expectations regarding your roles?


Regarding this, I am actually quite flexible. The bottomline is that I believe I am mature enough to shoulder more responsibilities, be it about planning activities together with students, or to propose new functions that have educational values.

In the application form, in choosing my preferences for duty, I have selected Green Life and Policy as my first priority. There, I have proposed to install a plant in each flat, and ask residents in the same flat to work together to water the plant. This is meant to be a sort of ritual to remind them of the importance of leading a green and healthy life, and to promote cohesiveness among residents in the same flat. But I believe we already have a promotion team for activities like that.


If you were to propose one single activity based on what you have written in your application, what would be that activity?

I will encourage the students to run some regular seminars. For each meeting, we will have multiple speakers, each giving a short talk on a topic of their own choice. It can be an academic topic, like quantum mechanics, or one of general interests, like language, music, philosophy, literature and so on, or just to give a book review. I believe we already have activities like that ---- for example, students from the some GE classes are asked to present their papers.

But I think we shall really broaden the scope of such seminars. I believe we have an incentive scheme, in which there is one category called "student life participation". Perhaps such activities can also be counted?

9 years??

Begin preparing for the interview. I can't believe that it was already 9 years ago when I first entered university. Couldn't help but being a bit nostalgic.

I still feel like my own education is still very far from being complete. I've accumulated a bit of knowledge, but I'm still looking for ways to really put them in good use. Now, I really regret a bit about my UG life. I should have explored more then. I just couldn't understand why I was so disengaged to real-life stuff until I was 23. Wasted a grand total of 4 years.

Oh, I have to correct myself. Actually, I understand the reason why my life practically started when I was 23. That was the first time I have ever lived away from both home and school. I had rent my own flat for the first time in my life.

The very first habit that I developed since I had my own place was reading, and I owed this habit to a book by (Prof.) Ovid Tzeng. The title of that book included a rhetoric, to incite readers to use their evolving brains to understand how the brain evolved. That was one of the most curious sentences I had come across until then, and it attracted my attention right away. The book wasn't of much use in terms of content, but it started my habit of going to the bookstore.

And then, I met the author that really got me and my English going. His name is Frank McCourt. He had written a trilogy of self-biography, the first on his childhood in Ireland, the second about his early years of immigrating from Ireland to the US, and the third on his life as a teacher. This is the first time I've read a man's life in such a complete manner, and it drove me to keep thinking about life. Through his books, I have come across quite a number of excellent novels, and I read on. He was why I suddenly decided to try translation, as an escape route from the mess I have had with physics.

Then, we know what happened next -- I met my third hero, the one who almost "saved" my life -- in a translation course. I came across his name in Ovid Tzeng's book, that's why I came to his class, just for the fun of it. Who would have thought taking a translation course taught by a seventy-something-year-old linguist would get you a chance to go back to science? Life is just too crazy and unpredictable. Sometimes, you just need the courage to try new stuff, but above all -- you need LUCK. You need luck to be able to get real help. I really can't say enough how much I owe to Prof. Wang, to be honest. When I thought of him, I thought about the numerous encouraging words he had said to me. Justified or not, those words really have helped me stand firm on the ground again and recover from a total lack of self-confidence in terms of doing academic stuff.

3 more years have past, and I'm 27 going on 28. Was it really fast. Am I ready to begin contributing to this thing called "education"? How are you going to handle it when you didn't have a complete education yourself?

I wonder. I hope this hall tutorship thing will help me out. I see this as one of the more "significant" ways to complete my own education. Whether I can continue to do research or be a professor one day (which I strongly doubt), actually, are of secondary importance to me. When you have the confidence in yourself, you can do anything, whether at university or elsewhere. When you have the confidence, you can see through the mist surrounding you, and find your own path. Be able to laugh off everything else that seems almost ridiculous, and live on. I hope I'll be there one day~~ to have this "internal peace" and "external freedom".

2012年5月25日

Coughing, Coding and Working

That sums up my day. What else can I say.

The only positive thing of today. My grade for the Digital Image Processing course is out. Got an A finally. This is by far the best grade I have attained for any postgraduate courses. It took me 6 physics courses, 5 translation courses, 2 engineering courses, until I finally got the 14th one right. Signs of improvement? It's such a long path. Sometimes, I really don't know what the point it is, to do something this hard.

Still, I am really thankful for the chance to redeem myself a bit. I really ain't as bad a student as my grades suggest.

=====

Then there is this Thank-you letter from Ogura. She is quite a nice person indeed, except, she spelled my name wrongly among so many other mis-spells...

Dear Mason:

Thank you very much for all your kindnesses during my stay in HK.

I’m very thankful for showing me the experiment by the EEG. It was a pity I didn’t stay at the lab till your experiment ended.

I wish you good luch for your presentation of your paper at the conference in Matsue.

With best wishes,
Mieko

2012年5月23日

Day 2

Waking up in the morning, I again feel weird. But this is perhaps the best sleep I have had for the past few weeks. I have slept more than 8 hours.

The highlight of the day comes at about 5 pm, when I receive an email inviting me to interview for the residence tutorship next Tuesday. I want this position so badly, to be honest with you. It is SH Ho College -- I don't think there is a more attractive college than this one, its being so close to SHB. The hall is new. The culture is new. New everything.  How can't you love it?  And then there is this wonderful activity called communal dining ---- http://www.shho.cuhk.edu.hk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=27&Itemid=133&lang=en. While I am not a socialized animal, I do look forward to meet interesting people, AND interesting people only. People who have found their own ways in life, instead of those who follow all the social norms and follow the footsteps of others. Those people are always my sources of inspirations. And I will surely be happy to meet these people while I am enjoying the activity I love most ---- EATING.  Really need to prepare for the interview well!!

I have a minor scare though. I remember I will have to help out on both Tuesday & Wednesday next week about the JUPAS admission interview. So, I ran straight (not exactly straight, but at least did it rather quickly) to Carmen, and asked her if there would be a time conflict. I was amazed by my being so decisive this time. I shouldn't be afraid of people. I need to grow up. Be able to say the things you need to say. For a guy who has been kind of alienated by almost everyone who met him, I think this is real improvement.

She told me she had just arranged my duty timeslot to be Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday whole day. There is no time conflict. But I really want to say "FUCK this department" -- treating PhD students like child, or could I say slave?

The rest of the day goes rather bumpy. This software called E-Prime is the most mysterious and non-portable software on earth. It will work a minute ago, and then fail after I make some really trivial changes. The version that runs and the verion that doesn't run do not appear to be different at all. What the hell is it about?

And then, I tried to use "their" sound card, it wouldn't work. I tested "their" sound card again in my office, and it worked. So, I go downstair again, and it fails again. Was I frustrated.

Fortunately, I still manage to finish off the script. It is working now. I only have to pick some 90 words and 180 non-words more! Then, I can start this experiment!

I did one more special thing today. I watered the plants in Prof. Wang's office. They all seem to wither a lot and will "die" soon. I hope my act has at least saved some of them. They are lives after all.

2012年5月22日

First love never dies?

It is kind of weird. It's not until you lost somebody, that you begin to have something to say. I believe that there is a phrase called "the emotion is boiling". I'm feeling the opposite. The emotion was freezing just now, right down here inside my body. Maybe it is because of the cold I'm suffering now, but I even have some difficulties taking breath.

Could we still be friends? Could we still care for one another? Could we re-discover one another? We need to stay strong in life regardless!!

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that.. we REALLY have HUGE difficulties communicating.. I don't think you understand me at all, and I don't think I understand what it is that you care about in life.. I was taught, or I have learnt myself, that we shall always live with purpose.. I have identified mine a bit.. How many years has it taken me? It's not 28, but maybe 8 or 9 years. What about you?

May I propose that each of us starts a blog to share whatever special things that have happened, be they frustrating or happy? Not to say we will be lovers again -- but if we do this, at the very least, we shall continue to be friends. My guess is that, after a while, each of us will have the answer. Whether to kiss the relationship goodbye, or not. I hope the feeling will be mutual.

In any case, I hope we'll be happy. Don't be too gloomy. We shouldn't have dark cloud in our heads. We need to live with energy!! Yes, I think that is what I didn't like about the past few months. Our relationship has taken a lot of energy from me, rather than to infuse me with more...