Script for tomorrow

Self-introduction

I'm a PhD student in the Double E department. I have multiple reasons to apply for this residence tutorship, but in the interest of time, perhaps let me just share two of them with you.

My first reason is that, university has virtually been my home for the past 10 years or so, so it is only natural that I have the want to start contributing to this community that I can relate to. You know, just from a sense of responsibility.

Second, as a postgraduate student, I'm not here just to do research, but I'm also hoping to continue my own personal growth, in particular, to improve my communication and leadership skills. I believe that being a residence tutor can enable me to do so, by providing an opportunity for me to meet, to interact with and to learn from people from different background. I treasure the opportunity, and I look forward to the challenge.

廣東話版：
我係電子工程系 ge 博士生。我今次 apply 做 hall tutor，原因有幾個，不過，時間關係，或者等我淨係講最重要嗰兩個原因啦~

首先，過去嗰十年，我大部分時間都嚮大學度讀書同做研究，之前喺科大啦，而家就過左黎中大。大學就好似自己 ge 屋企咁。可能係責任問題啦，我覺得自己都係時候去開始嘗試去為哩個群體，做返啲野，盡一分力。

第二就係，作為一個研究生，我覺得我希望 ge 唔係淨係去做研究，我同時都好希望自己可以繼續去發展自己 ge 其他方面，尤其係嚮溝通技巧同領導才能方面。做 Hall tutor ge 話，我相信會接觸好多唔同類型、唔同學術背景 ge 同學、師長。自私啲講句啦，我覺得對自己 ge 個人發展非常有幫助。哩個都係我今次 apply ge 其中一個主要原因。

What do you think are the most important roles of college education?

I believe that college education serves two main purposes. The first is to provide students a chance to meet people from various academic disciplines, so that they may learn from one another. The second is to help them discover or develop their own talents beyond their major.

But the higher and the ultimate goal, of course, is to help them understand what are important in life through various activities. In other words, to help them discover their own purposes, so that by the time they graduate, they will not only be able to make sound decisions for themselves, but will also have the heart to help improve the society as a whole.

What do you think should be the focus of our college now?

As I understand on the College Webpage, although the SH Ho college is still rather new, having been here for only 2 years, the college has already established quite a broad range of student activities, both college-organized and student-initiated. My guess is that what is the most important now is to encourage the active participation from students, to make sure that everyone is aware of the available resources, AND has the courage to try using them, so that they can really be benefitted.

What are your expectations regarding your roles?

Regarding this, I am actually quite flexible. The bottomline is that I believe I am mature enough to shoulder more responsibilities, be it about planning activities together with students, or to propose new functions that have educational values.

In the application form, in choosing my preferences for duty, I have selected Green Life and Policy as my first priority. There, I have proposed to install a plant in each flat, and ask residents in the same flat to work together to water the plant. This is meant to be a sort of ritual to remind them of the importance of leading a green and healthy life, and to promote cohesiveness among residents in the same flat. But I believe we already have a promotion team for activities like that.


If you were to propose one single activity based on what you have written in your application, what would be that activity?

I will encourage the students to run some regular seminars. For each meeting, we will have multiple speakers, each giving a short talk on a topic of their own choice. It can be an academic topic, like quantum mechanics, or one of general interests, like language, music, philosophy, literature and so on, or just to give a book review. I believe we already have activities like that ---- for example, students from the some GE classes are asked to present their papers.

But I think we shall really broaden the scope of such seminars. I believe we have an incentive scheme, in which there is one category called "student life participation". Perhaps such activities can also be counted?

9 years??

Begin preparing for the interview. I can't believe that it was already 9 years ago when I first entered university. Couldn't help but being a bit nostalgic.

I still feel like my own education is still very far from being complete. I've accumulated a bit of knowledge, but I'm still looking for ways to really put them in good use. Now, I really regret a bit about my UG life. I should have explored more then. I just couldn't understand why I was so disengaged to real-life stuff until I was 23. Wasted a grand total of 4 years.

Oh, I have to correct myself. Actually, I understand the reason why my life practically started when I was 23. That was the first time I have ever lived away from both home and school. I had rent my own flat for the first time in my life.

The very first habit that I developed since I had my own place was reading, and I owed this habit to a book by (Prof.) Ovid Tzeng. The title of that book included a rhetoric, to incite readers to use their evolving brains to understand how the brain evolved. That was one of the most curious sentences I had come across until then, and it attracted my attention right away. The book wasn't of much use in terms of content, but it started my habit of going to the bookstore.

And then, I met the author that really got me and my English going. His name is Frank McCourt. He had written a trilogy of self-biography, the first on his childhood in Ireland, the second about his early years of immigrating from Ireland to the US, and the third on his life as a teacher. This is the first time I've read a man's life in such a complete manner, and it drove me to keep thinking about life. Through his books, I have come across quite a number of excellent novels, and I read on. He was why I suddenly decided to try translation, as an escape route from the mess I have had with physics.

Then, we know what happened next -- I met my third hero, the one who almost "saved" my life -- in a translation course. I came across his name in Ovid Tzeng's book, that's why I came to his class, just for the fun of it. Who would have thought taking a translation course taught by a seventy-something-year-old linguist would get you a chance to go back to science? Life is just too crazy and unpredictable. Sometimes, you just need the courage to try new stuff, but above all -- you need LUCK. You need luck to be able to get real help. I really can't say enough how much I owe to Prof. Wang, to be honest. When I thought of him, I thought about the numerous encouraging words he had said to me. Justified or not, those words really have helped me stand firm on the ground again and recover from a total lack of self-confidence in terms of doing academic stuff.

3 more years have past, and I'm 27 going on 28. Was it really fast. Am I ready to begin contributing to this thing called "education"? How are you going to handle it when you didn't have a complete education yourself?

I wonder. I hope this hall tutorship thing will help me out. I see this as one of the more "significant" ways to complete my own education. Whether I can continue to do research or be a professor one day (which I strongly doubt), actually, are of secondary importance to me. When you have the confidence in yourself, you can do anything, whether at university or elsewhere. When you have the confidence, you can see through the mist surrounding you, and find your own path. Be able to laugh off everything else that seems almost ridiculous, and live on. I hope I'll be there one day~~ to have this "internal peace" and "external freedom".

Coughing, Coding and Working

That sums up my day. What else can I say.

The only positive thing of today. My grade for the Digital Image Processing course is out. Got an A finally. This is by far the best grade I have attained for any postgraduate courses. It took me 6 physics courses, 5 translation courses, 2 engineering courses, until I finally got the 14th one right. Signs of improvement? It's such a long path. Sometimes, I really don't know what the point it is, to do something this hard.

Still, I am really thankful for the chance to redeem myself a bit. I really ain't as bad a student as my grades suggest.

=====

Then there is this Thank-you letter from Ogura. She is quite a nice person indeed, except, she spelled my name wrongly among so many other mis-spells...

Dear Mason:

Thank you very much for all your kindnesses during my stay in HK.

I’m very thankful for showing me the experiment by the EEG. It was a pity I didn’t stay at the lab till your experiment ended.

I wish you good luch for your presentation of your paper at the conference in Matsue.

With best wishes,

Mieko

Day 2

Waking up in the morning, I again feel weird. But this is perhaps the best sleep I have had for the past few weeks. I have slept more than 8 hours.

The highlight of the day comes at about 5 pm, when I receive an email inviting me to interview for the residence tutorship next Tuesday. I want this position so badly, to be honest with you. It is SH Ho College -- I don't think there is a more attractive college than this one, its being so close to SHB. The hall is new. The culture is new. New everything.  How can't you love it?  And then there is this wonderful activity called communal dining ---- http://www.shho.cuhk.edu.hk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=27&Itemid=133&lang=en. While I am not a socialized animal, I do look forward to meet interesting people, AND interesting people only. People who have found their own ways in life, instead of those who follow all the social norms and follow the footsteps of others. Those people are always my sources of inspirations. And I will surely be happy to meet these people while I am enjoying the activity I love most ---- EATING.  Really need to prepare for the interview well!!

I have a minor scare though. I remember I will have to help out on both Tuesday & Wednesday next week about the JUPAS admission interview. So, I ran straight (not exactly straight, but at least did it rather quickly) to Carmen, and asked her if there would be a time conflict. I was amazed by my being so decisive this time. I shouldn't be afraid of people. I need to grow up. Be able to say the things you need to say. For a guy who has been kind of alienated by almost everyone who met him, I think this is real improvement.

She told me she had just arranged my duty timeslot to be Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday whole day. There is no time conflict. But I really want to say "FUCK this department" -- treating PhD students like child, or could I say slave?

The rest of the day goes rather bumpy. This software called E-Prime is the most mysterious and non-portable software on earth. It will work a minute ago, and then fail after I make some really trivial changes. The version that runs and the verion that doesn't run do not appear to be different at all. What the hell is it about?

And then, I tried to use "their" sound card, it wouldn't work. I tested "their" sound card again in my office, and it worked. So, I go downstair again, and it fails again. Was I frustrated.

Fortunately, I still manage to finish off the script. It is working now. I only have to pick some 90 words and 180 non-words more! Then, I can start this experiment!

I did one more special thing today. I watered the plants in Prof. Wang's office. They all seem to wither a lot and will "die" soon. I hope my act has at least saved some of them. They are lives after all.

First love never dies?

It is kind of weird. It's not until you lost somebody, that you begin to have something to say. I believe that there is a phrase called "the emotion is boiling". I'm feeling the opposite. The emotion was freezing just now, right down here inside my body. Maybe it is because of the cold I'm suffering now, but I even have some difficulties taking breath.

Could we still be friends? Could we still care for one another? Could we re-discover one another? We need to stay strong in life regardless!!

It's not that I don't love you. It's just that.. we REALLY have HUGE difficulties communicating.. I don't think you understand me at all, and I don't think I understand what it is that you care about in life.. I was taught, or I have learnt myself, that we shall always live with purpose.. I have identified mine a bit.. How many years has it taken me? It's not 28, but maybe 8 or 9 years. What about you?

May I propose that each of us starts a blog to share whatever special things that have happened, be they frustrating or happy? Not to say we will be lovers again -- but if we do this, at the very least, we shall continue to be friends. My guess is that, after a while, each of us will have the answer. Whether to kiss the relationship goodbye, or not. I hope the feeling will be mutual.

In any case, I hope we'll be happy. Don't be too gloomy. We shouldn't have dark cloud in our heads. We need to live with energy!! Yes, I think that is what I didn't like about the past few months. Our relationship has taken a lot of energy from me, rather than to infuse me with more...